Feelings… hard to explain

First thought --- If you could live in a place like this and not change a bit, then you wouldn’t be human…

Feeling change from one second to the next, but what was most baffling to me was how your entire outlook on life can change in such a short period of time.

First and foremost I miss my beautiful wife. This is one that I knew going in to this deal was coming, but didn’t expect it to be this strong. She has been so wonderful, and understanding through this hard time. I can’t say enough about how remarkable she has been. Just the thought of someone being willing to put their life on hold for someone else is mind blowing and I thank God everyday for allowing such a beautiful person into my life.

So many feeling in such a short period of time… As a man I figured nothing would really affect me that much, hey I’m tough I can take anything. If you’ve read my previous blogs you could see it didn’t take long for that to change. There’s nothing quite like a little isolation to make you feel pretty small. So you start work and start feeling better, a little more connected not quite so alone. Being new to the place, you don’t really know the customs, don’t really know what is expected, and all you’ve heard of the place is “be careful, everyone is going to try to take advantage of you.” So that being what you expect, that’s what you are going to see. You’re issued a driver by the company because as you can see by the pictures it’s not a pretty task driving here. However, he expects that you will tip him every day above what the company is paying him, because he’s not getting paid very much, and he knows that you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. The same goes for everybody that is paid by to company to help out in area’s where as an independent person you feel you could do yourself but because you are in this place things are quite different. For example you are issued someone to wash your clothes, for a fee, which is something that I am quite capable of doing myself but in my “tiny” apartment there is now clothes washer and dryer. There is also someone paid by the company to clean the apartment, I didn’t ask for this person but yet he is here and of course expects a little extra for his services because hey you’re white and you must have all this extra cash just lying around. You start getting the feeling that everyone just has their hand out, in addition to all the people that are just begging for money, and if there is a way for them to get you to give them money they are going to find it.

So I’m off in this foreign land, alone, working more hours then I’ve ever worked before, not getting very much sleep, living in this “tiny” apartment, and feel like everyone here is just out to get me. On top of that, the power goes out, the phones go out, the internet goes out, the water heater goes out, etc… After a while, it starts to ware on you. Quite frankly I thought it would take a little longer to get to me, but obviously I’m not as strong as I though, and it happened rather quickly. So I start to feel sorry for myself, and I had a couple of really bad days “woe is me, the whole bit.”

Then something changed, I don’t really know what, I don’t really know why, and I don’t really know how, but I was at work and the internet went down again as it had been the whole time I’ve been here, and I looked around at the guys I’ve been working with these couple of weeks. I’d met them, gotten their names, said hi in the morning, but never really talked to them. One of them in particular seemed like a really nice guy, someone I would like to get to know. I invited this guy to go to lunch with me, and just tried to get to know him. We talked mostly about the past couple of years, both mine and his. Just a side note: the locals that work at an engineering company are the top small percentage of the people here. I told him I got married just over a year ago, he said he got married just over two years ago, and has the cutest little 2 year old daughter. He told me how just a couple of years ago he was living in the country, and had no job and no way to care for his family, so he came to Lagos looking for work. He had no money, no job, no place to stay, no food, he told me basically he was sleeping by the gutter. This was until he met a man named Bill Yonley, who gave him a job, and helped him get a place to stay so he could bring his wife and daughter. He’s had this job for a year and a half now, and everyday shows up with a smile on his face, says hi to everyone when they walk in, and is so grateful to have a job during the day and a roof to go home to at night. Here was this man, same age as me, a family just like me, dreams and hopes and aspirations just like me, only he happen to be born in Nigeria instead of Houston, and here he was just full of joy and goodness, and here I am just wallowing in self pity.

I went home that night from work to a mansion. I have a bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom, two tvs, an internet connection, running water, bottled water to drink, food in my fridge, and a new outlook on life itself.